I wrote this post the day this guy "broke my heart". (Don't worry, I'm over it now ha!) I thought long and hard whether to post it or not but then I thought you know what, he will probably never read it and someone else out there might go through the same situation right now. I never post stuff like this on the blog, but I think personal posts are nice to write and to read sometimes too. Don't you think? So here are my raw thoughts from that day.

To the guy I met abroad and who broke my heart,

Do you remember how we met? We met at a hostel bar in London. You were with two other guys that night. Honestly, I can't remember how they looked like. I was too busy telling my best friend to look at your eyes. You had such beautiful green eyes. She was afraid that you would understand what I was saying about you, but I quickly replied: "he just said he was American, no way he's going to understand us speaking French.

I just wanted to have fun in a city where nobody knew me. To speak a different language. To discover places I had never been before. To meet new friends from around the world. And I did all that.

But then I met you. And I felt this instant connection after we talked for a while. Did you feel it, too? I was comfortable talking to you. I felt like I could talk to you about anything for hours. Your jokes made me laugh. My French accent made you laugh. We went out for drinks, we hung out at the hostel every night...

And do you remember that day when we bumped into each other in central London? Was it just a coincidence? Maybe it was life saying "hey, let's make them bump into each other in the streets, there's something between them two they need to realise it." Even our friends could feel something was going on. They noticed how we would look and smile at each other.

How could they not.

I don't remember how we ended up outside the hostel. But I remember that it was your last night here. And that we were looking at the stars. And that we were laughing our heads off. And that you kissed me. Finally. 

We didn't talk for a year after that. But sometimes I would think about you. And when we started talking texting again, everything I had felt in London came rushing right back to me. I still loved talking to you. It was different with you. It was easy. We talked every day, we sent each other pictures, we made plans to watch the same TV show and to talk about it after each episode, you even wanted to send me flowers... And all this lasted a year. That's a pretty long time. But I never got bored of talking to you.

I didn't know where this was going, and I have to admit that I was a little scared and sometimes I made mistakes, but all I know is I wanted to keep talking to you. And I didn't want to worry too much about the future. 

But then one day, you started acting cold. I had a feeling. I was afraid you had met someone. And a couple of weeks later... I found out that I was right. You posted a picture with your girlfriend.

I'm pretty sure I heard my heart break. Did you hear it, too? But I can't blame you. We live on different continents. I knew we were probably never going to see each other again. But I can't stop thinking about the "what ifs". What if I went to Paris with you when you were visiting. What if I answered your call that night. What if I acted like this or that instead.

The thing is, nobody warns you about meeting people abroad. Don't get too attached. You are never going to meet up in this or that place. You are never going to see each other again.

I'm not sure what we were, but we were something. Something that almost was. And that almost is what hurts the most. I guess I'll never know if those moments meant something to you. I keep wondering how you're doing, how's your new job... but we're back to being strangers.

Was it bad timing? Or maybe we did have a connection but we weren't right for each other?
What if we meet again in a few years?

Have you ever met someone abroad and sometimes you surprise yourself still thinking about this person?
Did some of you guys find love abroad? I'd love to know your stories!